Take the Hitachi Magic Wand for example. Designed as a massager used to alleviate sore muscles and speed recovery, “the HV250R is the legendary, super-powerful electric massager with the soft, flexible head. If this one doesn’t provide enough stimulation, nothing will…”.
With a write up like that, are you surprised to learn that the Hitachi Magic Wand is secretly heralded as the big daddy of vibrating sex toys?
With 20 watts of vibrating power delivering 5000-6000 rpms with two speeds, this “massager” can only be objectified as the most powerful vibrating superpower known to woman.
Oh Hitachi…how I love thee.
Compared to conventional vibrators (at least any I know), not only is the Hitachi Magic Wand bigger, faster and stronger, it’s also stealthy. Like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, it hides in plain site. Because it’s a massager (not a vibrator you dirty perv), it has no shame. It doesn’t ship in a brown bag. It doesn’t hide in a tickle trunk. It demands no excuses. And it can be picked up at Walmart for under $50.
It can single handedly produce mind blowing orgasms again and again and again and again and again and again and…(sorry, I digress). But beware. The Hitachi Magic Wand can also be used for evil and should only be purchased after reading the fine print:
The Hitachi Magic Wand may cause you to spasm uncontrollably…more than once. You may be prone to shouting unexpected obscenities and screaming which could piss off your neighbors. You may lose all desire to leave your house. If you’re single, you may never date again. If you’re married, your partner may experience feelings of inadequacy if device is used alone. Prolonged use may cause your naughty bits to become unbearably sensitive after too many orgasms and as such, The Hitachi Magic Wand is not recommended for use as a medieval torture device. Use sparingly and with caution…