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Archive for the ‘sexual health’ Category

Well, the holidays are over, the New Year is upon us, and once again, I’m left with five extra pounds of buttertarts and shortbread cookies to work off my *ss.

This week, I’m scheduled to return to Bootcamp, but after a three week hiatus over the holidays, I’m looking forward to that 5am buzzer about as much as electroshock therapy.

So, in one last ditch effort to find a loophole before the alarm goes off, I just have to know if perhaps there is a chance to lose the holiday pounds by combining one of my favorite things, Sex, with my life long nemesis, Exercise!

With any luck, I can skip the blood, sweat and tears of my proven exercise regime – Bootcamp with a good old fashioned roll in the hay (less the “old fashioned” stuff, of course).

Turns out, Sexercise as it’s dubbed, comes with its share of the good, the bad and the ugly!

Take this Sexercise video for example – .  Definitely the “uglier” side of Sexercise.  It’s like watching a bad 70s porn combined with a “Jane Fonda workout video”.  It’s one train wreck that I just can’t tear myself away from.   I sure hope “Sexercise” gets better than this…

Ask and you shall receive…the 70s porn workout video is quickly counterbalanced with what could be a great article suggesting that I can lose up to 300 calories per hour through Sexercise.  Unfortunately, it seems to lack substance and any relevant sources, but at least I get to enjoy this much sexier, modern day Sexercise video.  I can only hope that I burn a few calories while bouncing in my chair to the video tunes.

And…more bad news I’m afraid…  My search for “sexercise” videos takes a turn for the worst when I stumble upon this new “Wiifit” sexercise video
followed by Tom Green’s “Senior Citizen’s Sexercise” Video.  Yes, I really did say Tom Green and apparently his mother is just as mortified as I am (albeit for different reasons).

Ok, time to find a more reliable source to support my loophole…

According to “Julie Peasgood”, I can burn up to 7500 calories/year just by having sex three times/week.  And, I can burn 150 calories/hour engaging in heavy kissing.

And to help me with my workouts, I can add in this handy toy the “Sexercise Me Sexercise Ball” – the first exercise ball where I can actually screw in a vibrator and “get on” while I “get off”.  Talk about killing two birds with one stone.  I definitely have to get me one of these.

And, according to “Fitnessmagazine.com”, I can strengthen my quads, hamstrings and abs while having sex.

Kerry McCloskey, author of “The Ultimate Sex Diet” says she lost 23 lbs in six months.  So if she can do it, I can do it right?

Haaaa…that 5am alarm clock is getting further away!

Until…noooooo….say it isn’t so…the number I’ve been searching for.  According to Calorie Lab’s very official sounding “Calorie’s burned during sex” study, I’m only burning about 34 calories/hour.  And that’s during VIGOROUS sex.   That’s nowhere near enough to replace the grueling burn I get during 1 hour of Bootcamp which is closer to around 500-600 calories.  Check it out for yourself…enter in your weight to find out how many calories you’re burning during sex.  Perhaps you’ll have better luck than me.

Well, so much for replacing Bootcamp with sex.  But it turns out that sex does have a lot of other great, healthful benefits.  Be sure to check out these last two sources for a bit of inspiration.

Sexercise…the hard facts

Top 10 reasons to have sex tonight

I guess I’m just going to have to do both!  Sweet Dreams!

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If you and your partner have decided to take the plunge and invite other play partners into your fantasy realm, you absolutely MUST read my “8 simple rules to enjoy safer sex in an open relationship…”

Rule #1 – Don’t floss your teeth.

Don’t tell your dentist I said this, but please don’t floss your teeth within 24 hours of playing with a new partner.  If you’re going to be engaging in oral sex (which most of you likely will), flossing the teeth opens up the gums and provides a direct line to the bloodstream which can put you at risk for some of the nastiest STIs including HIV.

Rule #2 – Learn how to put on a condom.

If you’ve been in a monogamous relationship for a while and haven’t had to put on a condom, you may actually be out of practice. It’s important that you put the condom on the right way to minimize the risk of the condom breaking and to ensure that it’s not overlooked in the heat of the moment.  And ladies, don’t just leave this up to the guy.  You’re equally responsible for recognizing potential hazards to avoid putting yourself at risk.    Click here to learn the right way to put on a condom.

Rule #3 – Get tested every year.

Once you’ve chosen to be non-monogamous, do the responsible thing…get tested for STIs annually to be aware of your personal sexual health and that of your partner.  Some STIs have no visible symptoms, but many can be cured on early detection or at least managed to mitigate the risk of serious infection or transmission to your primary partner.  www.STDresource.com has a clinic finder that lists STD clinics in BC.

Rule #4 – Wear gloves – they’re smooth as silk.

For many, the use of gloves during sex may be reminiscent of your last trip to the doctor, but despite their unattractive appearance, they actually come with some easily overlooked, very sexy benefits.  Not only do they protect your sex partners from tears, fissures and rashes caused by hang nails and calluses, they actually feel better than the naked hand.   Add a couple of drops of lube and they will feel smooth as silk when you run them along ALL the naughty bits…perfect for hand jobs and penetration.  Oh, and don’t forget, putting on a fresh glove is so much faster than running to the bathroom to do a wash-up when you’re in the middle of that sexy threesome and want to pleasure more than one partner at the same time.   And that brings me to my next rule – don’t double dip!

Rule #5 – Don’t double-dip.

And I’m not talkin’ about a lottery ticket here.  When you’re in the middle of that sexy threesome, foursome or moresome, most get the condoms right when it comes to penile penetration, but regretfully, they forget about the other body parts…particularly hands.  Hands are on him, hands are on her, hands are in her and then before you know it, they’re in a different her along with the body fluids of her #1…ack!  Guys, please wash your hands vigorously with antibacterial soap before double dipping.  Or better yet, see rule #4.  And gals, if you don’t know where your play partners hands have been, ask politely, or have him wear a glove…trust me…you’ll be in ecstasy (safely) and won’t even notice the glove.

Rule # 6 – Trust your senses.

Look – Before playing look for any open sores, blisters or rashes around the genital area, anal area or mouth.  These can be possible signs of STIs and are not worth the risk.

Smell – if it smells funky, it probably is…and even if it’s not an STI…why would you want to take the chance.

In either of these situations, find a way to politely remove yourself from the situation.  If you’re too shy to say something or ask, then it’s still safer to find a polite excuse than to just “grin and bare it”. My favorite..”Sorry, I have to hit the ladies room…darn bladder always gets me at the most inopportune time”!

Rule #7 – I’ll be damned!

Dental dams aren’t just reserved for the dentist anymore.  There’s another type of dental dam on the block that’s perfect for safe oral sex.  A dental dam is a small protective sheet that’s made from the same material as condoms.  It’s lightweight, easy to use and comes in different colors, flavours and scents just like condoms.

As always, when trying a new safety “toy” for the first time, practice on your primary partner first and become a sexpert to avoid any of those awkward moments with arms length play partners.   Simply place the dam over her naughty bits to maximize your protection during oral sex.  Add a little bit of lube to the under side and voila…you’ll have her screaming in ecstasy in no time.  And if you want to increase her pleasure and have more control, have her hold the dam in position leaving your hands free to wander.

Rule #8 – Tell your partner EVERYTHING!

The biggest risk to your personal health, safety and well being will be when your partner finds out that you’ve been hiding something from them.  “Relationship” is the most important word in “open relationship”.  It’s about experiencing this together so be sure to tell the one you love everything.

Now have fun…and play SAFE!

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This past Thursday, I was finally able to nail down a piercing artist to give me the naked truth on the sexy side of piercing.  Cory from Adrenalin Body Piercing and Tattoos spent almost 30 minutes with me while I grilled him with a barrage of questions on “to pierce or not to pierce the naughty bits”.   Here’s an account of what I learned:

Will it hurt?

If this is the most important question on your mind, then I have good news and bad news.  The good news is, according to Cory, everybody handles pain differently.  If you’re one of the lucky ones, you have a high tolerance for pain and it should be no worse than getting a flu shot at the doctors.  In fact, you may even enjoy the sensation as it produces an endorphin high for some.

The bad news is that if you’re like me and have a low tolerance for pain then you might find yourself singing accapella or screaming from the rooftops.  A good piercer will recognize those fears and will work with you to get you calm and relaxed before piercing.  Unfortunately, drinking beforehand, or taking pain medications such as aspirin is definitely not recommended due to the blood thinning effects.

Despite this, Cory assured me that none of his clients have regretted piercing their naughty bits.

Why pierce the naughty bits?

According to Cory, piercing is becoming more and more socially acceptable.  It’s no longer stereotypically linked to “leather clad bikers with bad boy stigmas”.  In fact, people from all walks of life are walking through the doors of piercing studios…It could be your friend, neighbour, the girl next door, or even the CEO of a major corporation.

Some simply enjoy the endorphin rush they get from the piercing.  Others pierce to please their lovers, or to show sensual submission.   Others for the arrousing sensations.  Some just love all the fancy jewelery while others like having the naughty little secret under their clothes, unbeknownst to anyone except themselves and their lover.

Does piercing heighten arousal?

According to Cory, piercing can definately have an erotic impact as it makes you more aware of your erogenous zones.  However, he cautions that over time, the erotic sensations will dissipate as your body becomes accustomed to the feelings.  Contrary to what some may think, this does not mean that your naughty bits become desensitized, it simply means that your body has adjusted to the feelings and has “normalized”.   To bring back the erotic sensations, Cory suggests changing up the piercing on a regular basis to produce new sensations .  For example, change a barbell to a ring, or add a dangly bit to add a new texture.  If you’re considering a clitoral hood piercing, the vertical piercing produces the most erotic effect as the jewelery tends to rest right against the clitorus.

How long will the piercing take to heal?

It all depends on the location and after care.  Nipples can take up to six months to heal while the clitoral hood may heal in under six weeks.  The Prince Albert can take anywhere from four weeks to six months.  No matter what, the after care is the best way to expedite the healing process.  Keep the area as clean as possible and avoid constant friction as this may irritate the area (so wearing looser clothing would be better whenever possible).

Can I still have sex while the piercing is healing?

Absolutely!  You may just need to be a little more careful and aware to avoid injury.  You may even consider changing up sexual positions to those that are less apt to aggravate and “grind” against the piercing.  In addition, if you are playing with a “less familiar” partner, using protection and practicing safe sex is a MUST as you will be more prone to STDs during the healing phase.  Use condoms for penetration and dental dams for oral sex to avoid contact of body fluids on an open “wound”.    In fact, it’s even prudent to avoid going in public hot tubs or pools.

What are the risks?

Piercing is a big decision and should not be taken lightly.  You could be prone to any of the following risks including:

  • Bacterial infection around the pierced area;
  • Excessive bleeding;
  • Alergic Reaction – Implant Grade Stainless steal is least likely to cause an allergic reaction,  however metals such as gold (AT LEAST 18 karat), titanium, or niobium are also acceptable alternatives;
  • nerve damage; and
  • Scarring

Your best way to mitigate the risks is to find a good piercer.  ALL instruments should come from sterile packages and a good piercer will have no problem opening packages right in front of you.  If the studio uses a piercing “gun” , leave immediately.  Piercing guns cannot be sterilized and should NOT be used for body piercing.

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Even though I’m still a little bit nervous about the pain, I think I’m actually kind of excited about the notion of piercing the naughty bits.   So, I’ve decided to take the plunge and will be visiting Cory at Adrenalin piercing sometime in the near future to get my piercing…stay tuned!!!

Eve

***Sugar, Spice and Sex Advice proudly supported by Club Eden – Fantasy Club for Couples***

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